i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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