There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
