very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
