I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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