How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
