I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
