Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
