Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
