What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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