whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
