your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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