Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
