Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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