Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
