Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize