I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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