I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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