Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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