This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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