What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Houston, we have a blender
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
