So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
