I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
