I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
