is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
