Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
