Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
