I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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