I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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