Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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