He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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