I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
