@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
