he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
