Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize