worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
