he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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