I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
