Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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