Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
