Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
