just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think i have herpe
just one?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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