New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
