Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
