so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
