why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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