Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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