man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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