im having a threesome with these popsicles
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
