WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
