you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
