I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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