You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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