everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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