Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize