he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Randomize
