I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
