Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
