I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
is it fun? or sober?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
