Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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