Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
