I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
