ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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