Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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