No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
