My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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